Author: pazmeyer

apples, day 2

More running, exploring, and wagon rides in the orchards

Taking a short break from being daddy’s girls…

Picking and eating more apples….

Fresh grapes, raspberries, and honey…

Good friends and ice cream….

Thank you to the entire Tyler crew for a wonderful weekend. We are thankful for the invitation to join your family and your hospitality. We felt right at home and had a perfect weekend! We’ll be eating apples, jellies, and honey with fond, fond memories.

apples, day 1

We were up bright and early and off to explore the Orchards…
Sheila took the kids on a tractor ride.
We visited the Third Street Store and stocked up on syrup, jelly, honey, and peaches….
We fed chickens and gathered eggs for Sunday breakfast.
We picked lots of apples and ate nearly as many as we picked. 
We had a snack in the tree house
We hopped in the party wagon and went to feed goats
We found a very big snake!
We fed horses.
We ate more apples.
We stayed cool in the shade.
We had a water fight. 
We hopped back on the party wagon and enjoyed some ice cream and the ride. 
We visited an Alpaca Farm and Gwyneth even pet one!
Rhys and Annabelle fell in love with a teeny tiny puppy named Jesse. 
And by the end of the day we all felt like this….

my cup runneth over

B and I were lucky enough to spend the evening with these 4 sweet faces. How fortunate are we to have these wonderful kiddos in our life? I am so full of love, life and gratitude. My cup truly runneth over…..
Cruel, cruel reality crept up on me tonight….it kinda felt like a sucker punch. It knocked the wind out of me. As the kids played in the yard I just kept waiting for Jess. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was on her way over (like usual). Then like a ton of bricks it hit me – shes’ not coming over, she’s not swinging by, she’s not going to laugh with us, and hug us, and take her sweet babies home and give them dinner and baths and put them to bed. She’s not going to post on my facebook wall, she’s not going to set up playdates and mommy’s night outs. She won’t be at birthday parties or at daycare when I pick up. Jess is gone and I couldn’t breathe. I miss her and my heart aches.
Lucky for me, these kiddos don’t give you much time to wallow and I was quickly referring a fight between Annabelle and Andrew over Tinkerbell flip flops. They both wanted them. Then I was caught right in the middle of the fight between Gwyneth and Hanna over my lap. They both wanted to sit on it. Then I watched as Annabelle and Andrew ran, played, giggled and hugged each other. I watched Gwyneth playing so sweetly with Hanna, holding her hand and sharing with her. I started breathing again. I’ll never understand why Jess is gone and I’ll never stop missing her, but I am happy and lucky and grateful for these sweet little people.

becky is engaged

I woke up bright and early this morning to the phone ringing and answered it very angrily. I couldn’t stay mad for long….it was my sweet little sister calling to tell me she is engaged! Darnell popped the question the night before and she couldn’t wait to share the news. (She called Stacy right after me and Stacy’s in an even earlier time zone, so I guess I got off easy…at least easier.).

It seems like just yesterday we were calling her Baby Becky….oh wait, that was yesterday. I guess some nicknames just die hard. My sister is full of life, has the most contagious and loudest laugh you’ll ever hear, and has so much love in her heart. I’m so proud to be her sister and I couldn’t be happier for her and Darnell. I wish them a beautiful wedding and a lifetime of love and happiness.
Let the wedding planning begin!

rock star

Gwyneth has a love of music and can’t get enough of her new headphones. She wears them around the house even when they’re not plugged in to anything. It doesn’t seem to matter. This girl just always rocks!

baby laney


We feasted on pizza, the kids played, I snuggled with Laney (when I could sneak her away from Sheila and Lance), and we relaxed and enjoyed the beautiful Colorado evening. Well, perhaps not B who seems to be extremely allergic to the Fessler’s backyard. Thank goodness for Claritin!

Thankful for wonderful girl friends and their beautiful families and all the fun times we share. 

remembering jess

When I was in 9th grade I moved from St. Louis, MO to Dublin Ohio. I was so sad to be leaving behind my friends and I cried….and I cried…and I cried….for hours of the car ride to Ohio. At one point, I wanted to cry but couldn’t anymore. I had literally run out of tears. My eyes burned – they hurt so bad. I told my mom my eyes were burning, I was in pain, and I had no more tears to make it stop stinging and she told me “well, then you must have cried enough”. It kind of felt mean at the time (she did give me water and stopped for eye drops) but it was true. Very, very true.
I felt that same burn this week when I received the news of the passing of my dear, dear friend Jess. Jess was the first friend I made when I moved to Colorado after college. We were both so very young, so new in our careers and so very similar. She was a mid-west girl (from Iowa), had 2 sisters, parents divorced when she was in college, she got married the exact same day as my sister-in-law, and our dads even remarried on the exact same day. She introduced me to her scrapbooking group, I sucked her into my bookclub group, we played on a softball team together, and we nurtured a mutual love of football, beer, the Beatles, board games, living loud, and playing hard.
When we moved to Chicago Jess and her husband Don came to visit us not once but twice and we saw them often when we returned to Colorado (except the one time we asked them to meet us at the Breckenridge Brewery and they drove all the way to Breckenridge to see us when in fact we were waiting for them with beers at the Brewery in downtown Denver. They are always good for fun, quirky stories like that!). Jess and I were pregnant at the same time, compared growing belly photos, and welcomed our first babies within two weeks of each other. We returned to Colorado and our families spent so much time together. We took the kids to the zoo, the Butterfly Pavilion, spent weekends in Breckenridge, visited the pumpkin patch, watched football…I could go on and on….
About 2 years ago, Jess left her job and we each welcomed second children (me 2 years ago, her 9 months ago). There was less time to play and more committments. We were all so busy and even though its hard to admit, Jess was getting sick. She was struggling to find her way, to make peace with the many demands in her life and she was diagnosed with post partum psychosis. I knew she was hurting, but I truly didn’t know how very sick she was. I saw her nearly everyday when we picked up at daycare, at birthday parties, and even got sitters recently to have a couples night out at the comedy club. She talked so openly about her diagnosis and we spent many nights exchanging stories about the demands of motherhood and how much we longed to be the “perfect” moms and would do anything for our kids.
Jess fought hard against her illness, but succumbed on Friday, August 20th. She leaves behind a beautiful family – her husband Don, Andrew (3) and Hanna (9 months). I never knew the true extent of her pain, but I can only hope she has now found peace. Her quirky, fiesty zest for life will live on in her sweet babies and we will always watch over them with her in our hearts.
I’m trying so hard not to be selfish because there are so many who loved her and her death has impacted so many, but I just miss her. I miss my friend. She was a bright light in my world that burned out far too early. I will hold her memory and her babies close. I will eat a big piece of cheese and drink an even bigger beer when I watch the next Bears/Packers game and I will miss her and I will always, always wish she was here with us.
I spent hours sorting through pictures and although I want to share them all, I pulled together just a few of my favorites….
Murder Mystery Party
Scrapbooking weekend in Dillon
Celebrating my birthday after our softball game
Halloween – Jess’ favorite holiday
New Orleans
Chicago Marathon
Meeting my nephew, Ryan
Meeting Andrew
Jess and her son, Andrew
Meeting Gwyneth at the hospital
Bears/Packers rivalry with the Lemeks, Tylers and B…the lone Bears fan.
Ang’s baby shower
Jess’ baby shower for Hanna
Meeting Hanna
Jess, Annabelle and Hanna

Rest in peace, Jess. You were an amazing woman and a wonderful mother and friend. You will be missed.

pampering

While Miss Gwyneth took a nap we headed to the nail salon to get pedicures. Annabelle loves getting her nails painted. She is such a girlie girl! She wanted to pick out her own polish and she picked the brightest, hottest pink she could find.

We returned home to get ready for our dinner at Morton’s. Auntie Becky curled Annabelle’s hair and she loved her curls.

rigazzi’s

We had lunch at Ragazzi’s – home of the giant fish bowl. This was a favorite when I was growing up in St. Louis. We celebrated birthdays here, went for dinner before Cardinals games….this was my family’s spot and we just loved the pizza. I remember being amazed when people ordered the big ol’ fish bowl beers. I couldn’t imagine how they drank all that beer. Aaaah, to be so young and naive again. Needless to say I’m on the other end of that fish bowl now and the pizza tastes just as good as I remember it. It’s the cheese….they use provel and it just sticks to your teeth and the roof of your mouth. Heaven!

Behold the giant fishbowl
Using her Cardinals flag as a blanket for the ride back to Poppy’s